no more

wed and im still tired.

Another tues gone.

Very scary actually. I didnt keep track of time. And soon it will be my 24th year, almost quater of the century.

Class was good today. 1 Samuel 13-15 covered on Saul's disobedience - how he couldnt wait and obey God's commandment, tried to justify his actions, was rebuked for his actions but didnt really repeat in his heart.

And we see the side of God in OT where He will punish, but yet He also gives second chance.

I thought about myself during the class. How easy it would have been to scone and say Saul was incoregeble. He knew the word, and knew what he had to do. Instead, he justifed his actions with the circumstances he was facing.

It is a reality that anyone of us would have been like Saul in one way or another. We justify our actions and make God's word work our way. We react in situations instead of waiting and cryiing out to God. When we are told to listen and wait, instead we try to do something with the thinking that this is the solution God would have wanted to carry out.

We turn to see the "signs" in circumstances, and let that determine what we should do or react.

I'm not spared from the above. Far too many times I've acted and reacted to the situation or circumstance. I would say I have no choice or its not my fault, and the other parties involved have become the "enemy' (the one who caused it).
The consequences? Riding on the rollercoaster ride and wondering why I'm stuck down on the lower end that often.

============

God speaks, especially at such a timely period for me. Work is getting very political, and I'm begining to see things happening. As I reflected, this could go two way - one which I will outcast that person or refuse to co-operate and start bashing, or I could co-operate and try my best to contribute and do my job to the best for God.

I think, I'm being taught the second way now... and its not exactly a best place to be in. The world may see that to reach a certain point, they have to go down to means and ways to reach there.
I want to go the opposite way, to counter strength with strength - the strength of God with the world's strength.
Expect some pain ya.

Shaking up... shaking up...

The very thought that my lessons at BS are aligning with things going on with my life is a bit scary. Not that its uncommon topics (godly living, study His word etc), its just that doing this BS has really helped me to look deeper in His word, and look even deeper at myself.
What am I doing, how am I living.
Am I living what I preach, or its just to impress.

=] Amazing~ =}

posted by gloomy @ 1:05 AM